I've Got My Angry Eyes On

I miss cheese. I just moved from a quiet farm in Connecticut to the city of Chicago. Then again, after India, anything else is quiet. So far, so good. Coming from NYC usually, I am used to crazy traffic, large crowds, busy trains, and loud honking. Chicago has offered nominal traffic, less people, okay trains even at rush hour, and near silent streets. It's a nice middle ground. Grant Park is amazing and I am loving the cycling community. I bought myself a bike. And not just a bike, but a sassy little Schwinn Jaguar. My mother checked it out at Target. She said it looked like Pee Wee Herman's bike. I took that as a complete compliment.

While our new condo is fantastic and so is our new black cat, Tux, I went to the doctor for an annual physical just before I moved. I found out that at 29 years of age, I have high cholesterol. This is shocking to me. I am in pretty good shape and for all 123 lbs. of me, I like to eat. I now live in a city that is famous for it's deep dish pizza! What's a girl to do? For the past three weeks, I haven't had anything with cholesterol in it... until last night. I had turkey kielbasa. Today, I feel tired and gross. Also, I am really hungry. to make things worse, before I moved, I vowed to used my Kitchen Aide Mixer every week. I love to bake. Today I made chocolate chip cookies from scratch. I am frustrated for two reasons. 1- I am tempted to eat all the cookies. 2- They came out terrible. So in a sense I guess I solved my own problem. As for the deep dish- I'll have to get back to you on that one:)

Waving goodbye

Today is my last day living in India. I fly back to the States at 9:10pm this evening. Not only will I be leaving behind the tough times I've had here, but I will also be leaving my heart. Brandon will be staying for another month. Although we have dated long distance and been apart for more months on end, for some reason, this will be the most difficult thing I've had to do thus far. When you completely abandon the way you live to come to the other side of the earth for another person, it really puts your life into perspective.

Living here has not been easy. There are things about myself that I missed. I missed being able to express myself with clothing, and talking and laughing with the people I saw every day back home. I missed be able to go outside without feeling like an animal in a zoo. I missed the freedom of feeling independent. Although this culture is vastly different, I can respect where the people are coming from. That is to say to an extent. I hated being spoken about as if I were not in the room, by certain men. I hated the fact that there is a false sense of cultural stability. I hated the fact that homosexuality was blocked out as if it didn't exist. All of these things made me angry. I can only hope that one day, more people here will be open to different kinds of individuals and cultures. I hope for the tolerance among the religions and yearning to learn and think outside the box. I wish this country nothing but the best and will always carry my time here with fondness, for I learned how truly lucky I am to have been born in a country that, on the whole, will accept me however I choose to live and express myself.

While I sat in our apartment, most days, surrounded by the sounds of the neighborhood, I would get lonely. But eventually, loneliness turned into ingenuity. Ingenuity turned into letters and blogs and screenplays. I wasn't afraid to sing loudly anymore and I wasn't afraid to dance like no one was looking, because, well, no one was. I will take all these things home with me. I will remember what I learned here and make sure that every day is worth living and learning and holding with you. I will take the love I get from Brandon every day and put more love out into the world. I have gotten nothing but support from him while I've been here. I think if you can survive in a developing country with no one but the one you love, well, that's pretty damn good, if you ask me. So India, to you, I say "Adieu", to Brandon I say, "See you in a month, my love", and to America, I say, "See you soon...."

When I was a kid

When I was a kid, my school had a carnival every year. And every year it fell on my birthday week. Once I left high school, I didn't go to that carnival anymore. I don't know why. Maybe it was because I lived far away, or maybe because a part of me thought I was too old. I miss that carnival now. I hope this year, wherever I am, I can make the time to visit. There is just something so magical about those rides.

The Swings.

If you close your eyes, it's almost like flying.
The Ferris Wheel.
No matter how slow it goes, you can always get that funny feeling when it goes over the top. Not to mention, what a view.

The Merry-Go-Round

Whether you're 8 or 80, a painted horse is just as fun as riding a real one. You always race to get the one you want and if you're lucky, you might just grab the fated brass ring.