Waving goodbye

Today is my last day living in India. I fly back to the States at 9:10pm this evening. Not only will I be leaving behind the tough times I've had here, but I will also be leaving my heart. Brandon will be staying for another month. Although we have dated long distance and been apart for more months on end, for some reason, this will be the most difficult thing I've had to do thus far. When you completely abandon the way you live to come to the other side of the earth for another person, it really puts your life into perspective.

Living here has not been easy. There are things about myself that I missed. I missed being able to express myself with clothing, and talking and laughing with the people I saw every day back home. I missed be able to go outside without feeling like an animal in a zoo. I missed the freedom of feeling independent. Although this culture is vastly different, I can respect where the people are coming from. That is to say to an extent. I hated being spoken about as if I were not in the room, by certain men. I hated the fact that there is a false sense of cultural stability. I hated the fact that homosexuality was blocked out as if it didn't exist. All of these things made me angry. I can only hope that one day, more people here will be open to different kinds of individuals and cultures. I hope for the tolerance among the religions and yearning to learn and think outside the box. I wish this country nothing but the best and will always carry my time here with fondness, for I learned how truly lucky I am to have been born in a country that, on the whole, will accept me however I choose to live and express myself.

While I sat in our apartment, most days, surrounded by the sounds of the neighborhood, I would get lonely. But eventually, loneliness turned into ingenuity. Ingenuity turned into letters and blogs and screenplays. I wasn't afraid to sing loudly anymore and I wasn't afraid to dance like no one was looking, because, well, no one was. I will take all these things home with me. I will remember what I learned here and make sure that every day is worth living and learning and holding with you. I will take the love I get from Brandon every day and put more love out into the world. I have gotten nothing but support from him while I've been here. I think if you can survive in a developing country with no one but the one you love, well, that's pretty damn good, if you ask me. So India, to you, I say "Adieu", to Brandon I say, "See you in a month, my love", and to America, I say, "See you soon...."